I love going Home.
Besides all the good food my sister cooks, the board and card games we all play, the shared laughter at the dog’s antics, I can more easily get in touch with my inner core: desires, dreams; things I’ve had in my head since I was a teenager still living in this house. I have a clearer head here.
There’s also the long drive up; during which I can slowly detach myself from everything that’s normally going on. I can also have long conversations with my wife, which we don’t get to do too often anymore (we’re so busy). Or I’m so busy; 40 hours a week at work, 10 hours in class, 20 hours of design and development work, 15 hours on school projects… the list can go on.
It’s easy to forget what you want for your life, where you want to go, when you’re in the middle of living the day-to-day. Everything rains down so steadily that it washes out the path in front of you; the one leading to where you want to go. And so you have to take things one day at a time, one step at a time, to make sure you don’t miss the path or take a wrong turn and end up where you never wanted to be in your worst nightmares.
“We’ll get there…”
That’s what my wife always says. And I know she’s right, but not for the obvious reason. Being Home really helps me to find those little beacons of hope, those little glimmers that assuage the doubts; that remind me I really am good at what I do. I really am good at programming, I do have a talent for design, I can get a game out there.
Without those glimmers the day-to-day grind’s talent of birthing and festering self-doubt would overpower, causing a misstep on the path forwards, and making me end up where I never thought I’d be.
I must remember to: Be strong, have patience, and know that one day “We’ll get there…”